TheCable

Some don’t know it is Christmas, Sallah, or New Year. But they should count themselves lucky.

After one year in the filthy and wretched hands of Boko Haram insurgents, a missing Chibok girl doesn’t just know it is Christmas.

She doesn’t know Sai Baba!

It’s horrifying to realise that the still-missing Chibok girls were abducted sometime around this period last year.

Three-sixty five days since you saw your parents, since you were showered with love and affection, since you saw another friendly face. Not one filled with hate on borrowed clothing close to you.

For the past year, you have known horrors that no child should be acquainted with. Ever.

Well, since you’ve been gone, a lot has happened in the outside world.

Let’s tell you about some of them.

E IS FOR EBOLA

On July 23, 2014, it was confirmed and announced that the Ebola virus was present in Nigeria, having been conveyed by a host, one Patrick Sawyer – a Liberian.

Space constraint won’t allow me to start going into details of the dreaded virus and the lives it claimed. I know you can’t Google it either. Well, that’s your first assignment when you no longer live in bondage.

But Nigerians lived in bondage for 93 days in fear of the deadly contagious disease. For three whole months, we all became sanitary inspectors. We looked over our shoulders, minimised body contact with others and hand sanitizers increased sales by over 8000%. I actually sold some, so I’m right with the margin.

Thankfully, the Nollywood horror movie ended in just 93 days – yes just when I remember your Hollywood version of the same kind of film – as Nigeria was declared Ebola-free by WHO. A total of 19 cases were reported and seven people died.

RUDE OIL

Between August and October 2014, the price of a barrel of crude oil dropped from $102 to about $82.

It sent rude shock all over the world, especially in Nigeria. Experts bickered over the possible fallout of such a decline in oil prices and painted doomsday scenarios based on Nigeria’s dependence on her crude oil export.

There’s a lot of statistics involved but not to bore you, what you should know is that our major export isn’t flying off the shelf like the hot cake it used to be. Oh, and you can now buy petrol for N87 at the fuel stations, never mind that you actually paid N100 for it.

NOT-SO-SUPER EAGLES

Let’s talk sports and pardon my open letter to you on events – Ebola and Oil – I know little of myself.

After an HBP-inducing qualifying campaign, Nigeria headed to Brazil for the 2014 World Cup. A lacklustre goalless first match against Iran was followed by an off-colour 1-0 win over Bosnia. The Super Eagles stunned the world as they fought valiantly against Argentina and Lionel Messi.

Truth be told, their outing in this match was electric and we all watched and wondered what would have been if the boys had played this well from Day 1. Sadly, France shot down our Eagles and sent our boys back home, along with any hopes of surpassing our achievement in previous editions of the tournament.

Despite the second-round finish, Nigeria rose 10 places to 34th position in the FIFA ranking. I’m sure the rise after a fall surprises you as well. Add FIFA to Ebola on your Google list.

AFCAN’T

Your abductors should love football and follow the game on their transistor radio. So I guess you are aware we didn’t qualify for the 2015 AFCON. No?

We had our fears but on November 19, 2014, those fears became set in stone as we were acquainted with the reality that the Super Eagles had been denied the opportunity to “disappoint” us yet again at an international football competition.

Drawing 2-2 with South Africa, Nigeria failed to qualify for the championship hosted by Equatorial Guinea. What hurt was not the fact that as defending champions, Nigeria would not get to defend said championship, no. What stung was the fact that the Eagles’ poor performance converted Nigerians into Statistics experts.

All over the country – I’m sure in Sambisa forest as well – football fans were calculating, estimating and postulating how Nigeria could have a chance if only South Africa lost, Congo lost, Sudan lost, Nigeria co-hosted with Equatorial Guinea, Ebola returned…

We still didn’t qualify, though. Disgraceful.

But someone had to pay for this disgrace. Yes, Stephen Keshi, the team’s coach, got sacked so Nigerians got their pound of flesh. But we’re a forgiving lot and he was later reinstated despite having “so many countries queuing for my signature”.

HALA MALALA!

Hala is Spanish for “come on” and on July 12, about three months after your abduction, Pakistani children’s right and education activist Malala Yousafzai, visited Nigeria on your behalf.

She paid President Goodluck Jonathan a visit and extracted a promise from him to visit your parents. Did he? Or did he not? But then, it was somewhat responsible for kicking the #BringBackOurGirls campaign into full gear, which was still struggling to gain traction.

Malala was vocal and addressed your captors – at a distance – to set you free, lay down their arms and stop misusing the name of Allah. I’m sure their transistor radio was tuned to the World Cup final match between Argentina and Germany when she made that call.

Malala was surely heard elsewhere because three months later, she was announced as the recipient of the 2014 Nobel peace prize on October 10, 2014. The prize was in recognition of her efforts against the suppression of children and young people and for the right of all children to education.

At age 17, she is the youngest recipient of the award.

FROM MALALA TO MALAYSIA

A Malaysian Airline flight MH370 which went missing before you were abducted still remains missing.

At this point, all hope to find the passengers or the aircraft itself is all but dissipated. Sometime in January this year, though, the Malaysian government declared the disappearance of MH370 an accident and confirmed that the recovery operation was still ongoing, but that the 239 people aboard are now presumed dead.

Thank God for the gift of life!

MR. DEATH

Remember Oscar Pistorius? You should know the Blade Runner, my dear!

He won bronze medal in the 100m and gold in the 200m in the 2004 Summer Paralympics, 10 years before your abduction.

He won gold in the 100m, 200m, and 400m at the 2008 Summer Paralympics, six years before your abduction. You should know Oscar!

You still don’t know Pistorius?

Two years before your abduction, he won silver in the 200m, gold in 4 x 100 relay, and gold in the 400m of the 2012 Summer Paralympics.

You still don’t know him? Well, now he’s behind bars.

Allegedly mistaking his girlfriend for an intruder and firing four bullets through a cubicle, Oscar was found guilty of culpable homicide after a trial of almost seven months He was sentenced to five years in prison.

The case has been appealed by his lawyers; meanwhile Oscar Pistorius adjusts to life behind bars – like you, sadly.

SAI BABA

The atmosphere has been steaming with electioneering for the past few months as the country prepared for her 5th quadrennial (postponed) election since the end of military rule in 1999.

Fourteen people – sorry, can only name but four – ran for president but only one emerged winner – General Muhammadu Buhari (rtd), affectionately called ‘Sai Baba’ by his followers on Facebook and Twitter!

Incumbent President Jonathan conceded the election – though my colleague, Taiwo George, prefers another word to “concede” – even before the final result was announced.

Nigerians rejoiced. Taiwo smelled a rat.

Well, I am out of ideas now but the next entry I’m hoping to add to this list very soon, is that: on this day ___  (fill the gap yourself) you and the other Chibok girls were found, and returned to your homes safe and sound.

Until then, we shall not forget you.