TheCable

BY KINGSLEY OBOM-EGBULEM

Like we say in Nigeria “some jokes are indeed expensive”. And when jokes become too expensive they are no longer funny. And I think we’ve had our own fair share of very expensive jokes.

I have never paid to attend any comedy event in Nigeria. I have also never attended any comedy show even when offered a complimentary ticket. I’m not sure I’ll ever get to that point! And my reasons are not far-fetched: I can’t cope very well with unpleasant surprises. And you get a lot of that at these shows. The average comedian is uncouth and can say anything. Secondly, comedy as an art or business often thrives on guttersnipe language-cursing and swearing that supposedly normal men and women consider entertaining.

Indeed comedy is show-business. And in show-business, anything done in the show is business and the business must be able to pay the bills for the show to continue. That defines our comedy and we’ve come to accept it even if it’s telling on our sensibilities and contributing towards feeding a rape culture that is now giving us cause to worry.

Yes, our comedy is dirty.

Comedy as defined by the deployment of profanity that demeans women have always provided a vehicle for anyone wishing to convey his (or her) slut-shaming, sexist and misogynist feelings while people laugh out their hearts.

Courtesy of Alibaba’s leadership and trail- blazing efforts, we have produced a legion of comedians in the last two decades. These artists come in different styles. But you only need to hear some of their jokes and see the calibre of people who find such jokes funny to know that we have a big issue to deal with. And that big issue is a growing rape culture that is powered albeit subtly by an industry that is supposed to make us laugh.

We have actually laughed our way into a point where we must turn back.

Like most artists, comedians give themselves away and unveil the real man inside through their performance. When they open their mouth, the journey they’ve made (all they represent and have come to adopt as values) filter through their jokes. And in a few minutes or hours, you can tell where a particular comedian is coming from and perhaps where he’s going to.

I go Die (I wonder where he got that name from) is one raw, brash and uncultured Nigerian comedian. And he doesn’t try to paint himself differently. His jokes are often raw, dirty and doesn’t owe you any apologies for his sexist, chauvinistic gaffes. I’m surprised when I see him on terrestial TV stations managed by so-called right thinking people.

I can’t repeat any of this brother’s jokes for obvious reasons. But if you know where he’s coming from, it won’t surprise you. But when can he start to offer his audience something more progressive and elevated? Or better still when can we start demanding for something clean and redemptive from I Go Die?

Some years ago, Basket Mouth showed us how comedy and the things we joke about gives us an idea of where we are as a people. The joke he twitted which was a poor comparison between a white girl and an African girl cannot be reproduced here also. But what he was trying to say in that very disturbing joke was that the African girl may not go to bed with you even after the 9th date hence she’s probably going to be raped on the 10th date.

What a dense joke on the plights of African women from the brand Ambassador of an indigenous telecoms brand.

AY Makun also gave us a hint about how our comedians perceive and treat women when he hosted housemates of the Big Brother Naija reality show recently on his AY Live Show. He made light of Kemen’s sexual misconduct and attempted molestation of Tboss blaming her for whatever transpired between them in the house. Of course, like Basket Mouth, he apologised for the joke adding that the joke was misconstrued. How else can one interpret inanity?

Many may say “but these incidents are not recent and those involved have apologised so not let’s move on”. Yes indeed! They have apologised. But can we really move when their jokes have become poor indicators of our sorry state as far as treatment or perception of women is concerned? Hence, the recent sexual molestation of female students of Ireti High school by a gang of boys from Falomo Grammar School is a wake-up call.

If you are tempted to defend any guy perhaps you need to understand that when men speak about women in derogatory terms or deploy profanities in expressing their feelings about women, they are simply being themselves whether or not it’s a comedy show. And so, it would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for Basket Mouth, AY (and their co-travellers on the comedy bandwagon) to deny that they are not abusive, sexist and misogynistic. By their jokes, you shall know them. And these jokes have only shown why our society may have to work extra hard to fight our rape culture.

Now, before I wrap this up let me educate anyone in doubt that in patriarchal societies such as ours, every male child is potentially abusive and many end up being abusive.

So what then constitute abuse in this context? It is not only when you become physically violent that abuse is said to have occurred. Any woman (especially the one who has been at the receiving end) understands abuse and can do a teaching on it. But let me say that when it comes to dealing with a woman, abuse is inevitable, it all depends on what that woman understands about dignity, respect and her fundamental rights(what she can take and what she wants to say NO to.)

Many men are verbally and emotionally abusive. But they’ve never beaten or raped anyone! AY the comedian has always been a gentleman who cannot hurt a woman. Basket Mouth also says he can die for his wife and daughter. But these guys are abusive.

Loving your wife (and adoring your daughter) is not all the indicators of respect for women or zero tolerance for domestic or gender-based abuse. It doesn’t diminish or minimise the existence of a rape culture in Nigeria. And you can only understand it if you have a deeper understanding of patriarchy and sexism. It’s a way of life in which we all men were born into and we need to do something to fight that culture. Interestingly comedy is a potent weapon in this fight.

Most of us were not taught CONSCIOUSLY how to abuse women, yet we do it. But to treat women right we need to be taught… and if our comedians were trained at home or have become turn around men then let them use their stage and platforms to teach other men.

Like I often love to end my submissions, we can reserve a blame or two for the impact of pornography on how we treat women. The male desire to consume pornographic materials is much more than expressing our sexuality or quest to satisfy sexual urges. It is also an expression of our abusive nature. Pornography demeans and dehumanises women and perverts the male definition of sex. Hence, any man who truly respects women cannot secretly admire and enjoy pornography. If we truly respect women it would be holistic as we try to keep getting better with every knowledge gained.