Bola Ahmed Tinubu: Why I cannot laugh

If it were not biting me alongside millions of Nigerians, I would have been laughing today. The seeming helplessness and cluelessness of this government that came on board with massive arrogance is becoming a global shame.

Daily we see the economy tumble just as the president keeps appointing all sorts of yes men into offices and where offices are not available, he creates verbose and amorphous roles for people like my brother Fela Durotoye — costs to be borne by the taxpayers.

I have reached a point where I have stopped going into sessions with his key supporters. Arguing with pro-Tinubu supporters is now veering into the realm of arguing in the religious space where logic and fact-based engagements are thrown into the bush.

On our BGL Alumni group, an otherwise very brilliant investment banker who is pro-Tinubu was arguing very strongly in support of the 24-year-old non-starter appointed chairman of a strategic government institution. As he marshalled out his points, I was shaking my head and saying this one is gone.

Then the government bowing to public pressure, rescinded the decision and this my fellow rather than apologise to the group ran to hide under some very spurious arguments in shame.

The other day, I went into an argument with a former member of the house of representatives and a strong member of the Lagos establishment and by extension a strong pro-Tinubu person.

As is the case with them, he bullied me to a standstill, starting every argument with: “Have you run an election?” I told him this was a wicked way to engage because he was going at my credibility and shoring up his credibility to the audience such that his words no matter how arcane would be taken much more seriously than mine because I hadn’t run an election.

I reminded him that as a political scientist, I knew that my right to abstain from a tainted process was also a very powerful political weapon. Why bother in an exercise that has already been rigged from end to end complete with the weakening of otherwise independent democratic institutions of the state?

Then he started throwing up a new line of argument which made me pity him. He separated legal from moral and said that we in opposition were pursuing morality as against the legality of it all.

I bowed my head in shame. I repeat, there seems to be mass hypnotism amongst the elitist class in the southwest as they continue to fight for the legitimacy of this aberration.

I asked him like I have been asking others, Bro would you keep this person in your firm as your treasurer if, after 10 years, information comes out that he had some legal issues bothering on theft or drugs? This was in response to his talk about the statute of limitation.

He screamed me down with all sorts of arguments trying to throw up legal technicalities that support this current situation we find ourselves in this country.

He is not a political scientist, so I forgive him for if he was, he would have known that the bedrock of politics and the common good which is democracy are those themes of morality, fair play, equity and justice.

What we are seeing today negates the very foundation upon which democracy sits and this is why the president can’t seem to pull in enough moral platitude to fight for the economy. Because he is seeking legitimacy he didn’t get in the polls, he is left with positioning rent-seeking ’employees’ in strategic positions to sustain him and not necessarily fight for the economy.

Today, we are seeing all sorts of journeymen in key positions as rewards for past or future dealings who are just there doing nothing while the economy is in free fall.

Buhari had mad men who took negative decisions, at least they were bold enough to chest those stupid decisions. Today what we have are low-level operatives in strong positions.

What can Wale Edun or Cardoso do without clearance from a man who is spending 23 hours of the day with lawyers both local and international in a morbid bid to fend off an inevitable date with fate?

Edun and Cardoso are but tiny fishes that have been thrust into the wide ocean of international finance. A quick look at their background will show little people with little but no experience at that level.

Serving the master as commissioner of finance in Lagos some 20 years ago and running a little-known investment banking outfit now gives you the courage to run an economy as large as Nigeria in a haemorrhage?

From being the chairman of a little-known bank with six branches, he hits an utterly destroyed CBN and we expect magic? These are not even local champions and you put our hope on them?

It is no wonder that the Naira, which is the best barometer of economic performance today, is behaving like an invalid leading to loss of profitability in large firms and as such throwing millions into unemployment and pushing inflation towards the 30% mark. Kai.

It is this same search for legitimacy which will not come that has led to the profligacy we see in government, especially at the national assembly where those ones are behaving as if they are in a high school orgy.

The insensitivity is astounding and unprecedented. Well it’s not their fault, it’s the situation they find themselves in where, for the first time in Nigeria’s history, they have a president under lock and key due to that one’s colourful history.

I cannot laugh because it’s biting me and millions but all I can say at this point is Mr Tinubu if you want our support, please announce that you will forget a second term and start making very strong decisions and appointments.

Restructure the CBN and ministry of finance by taking out those two and replacing them with well-experienced developmental fiscal and monetary economists with global experience and network, not just bankers who spent their careers chasing deposits.

Take out the minister of solid minerals and put a round peg in that hole and let’s start seeing action there because that sector will definitely help with our revenues.

Put back the ban on the 43 items, begin to seek debt relief, restructure debts to free up funds from debt servicing and very importantly, reduce the cost of governance by 50%. We don’t need all these people.

Seek more private sector involvement in the economy, push back the government and open up critical spaces like agriculture, power, and technology to private sector intitaives while you support with regulation and ease of doing business

Come out to Nigerians and seek national forgiveness and seek their understanding and support as you try to correct the economy in four years stating very clearly that we can not afford another round of elections — we will understand and be patient.

Anything else, we will see the Naira hit 2,000 and at that time the markets and the systems will react with uncanny wickedness that nothing you will do will assuage its anger.

Let’s stop playing the ostrich game, Nigeria is on fire and you are really not showing any kind of resolve to contain talk more of fighting the fire.

Na wa.