TheCable

Sh*t is serious business.

Sh*t, a by-product of human metabolism, is a potent element in diagnosing health anomalies.

Your sh*t indicates whether your muscles are strong or not. It tells if your gastrointestinal system is functioning optimally or not. It shows if you are getting enough fiber and other nutrients. It also tells if your hormones are chic. And if your internal engine is sound.

Sh*t is sacred. And it is must be protected.

A few days ago, Kim Jong-Un, North Korean leader, met with US President Trump in an epochal entente in Singapore. He was reported to have travelled with his own toilet for the meeting.

Why?

A former North Korean Guard Command officer told Washington Post that Kim travelled with his own personal toilet because his excretions contained information about his health status so they could not be left behind.

The North Korean leader believes leaving his sh*t abroad has the proclivity of revealing his health status which may be exploited for political ends.

This sounds reasonable to me even as it is funny. In this age of espionage and cyber-terrorism, care must be taken not to give intruders and aliens access to secrets or personal information of the president who may want to use it for blackmail.

This brings me to a puzzle. How much information does the UK government have about President Muhammadu Buhari who travels to the country for routine medical check-up? I believe that country has more information about the president than he does of himself. This in itself is a security risk.

I wonder, did President Buhari travel with his own toilet to meet with President Trump in April? It will be interesting to know. It will be tardy if the president did a dump there and left it for the sewers. I think the CIA has, probably, finished analysing his sh*t now.

For the sake of our national security, the president should please show his sh*t some respect.

Fredrick is a writer, journalist and media entrepreneur. He can be reached on Twitter: @FredrickNwabufo, Facebook: Fredrick Nwabufo