BY Praise Fowowe
Dear Praise,
Thanks so much for your wonderful and frank analysis here. I must commend your effort and I would appreciate if you can assist me with my relationship issue.
I clocked 34 this year and work in a firm where what I earn is about 250k but I am in a relationship with a lady that runs an auditing firm and her monthly take home is over a million. I am a bit worried that I may not be able to play the role of a bread winner with what I am earning and that is why I usually get upset when she comes up with our wedding plans because I am not sure I can handle such a lady as she may not be submissive in marriage.
I am thinking of ending the relationship because recently she changed her car into a car that cost her 3.5m and that got me further worried. Please I need your help before I take my final decision.
Kunle A. (Lagos)
Hello Kunle,
I am trying to figure out what could be wrong with your relationship and the only thing I could make out of all you have said is summarized in one word ‘INSECURITY’.
It wasn’t difficult to decipher your map of the world from all you have stated and there are a few questions that readily comes to mind:
This lady may not be your problem but the patterns you have developed over time. I can hear from your unspoken words that:
It is not a lack of money that makes a woman disrespect a man; it is the man’s respect for himself and for the woman that makes her respect. If you are a valuable man no one would disrespect you.
However I must let you know that I respect and appreciate your mail because it is proof that you know something is wrong that you must fix.
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Dear Praise,
Please what I want is a straight answer because I have been dating this man for a while now and he is insisting until I become pregnant he would not propose marriage.
Please what should I do?
Chidinma (Enugu)
Hello Chi,
Please ask him if he wants a wife or what he wants is a baby or a baby manufacturing factory? Because I am trying to understand the correlation between a marriage proposal and pregnancy. It seems this guy feels he is doing you a favour and I am not totally sure he respects your person and your values. You might want to reconsider please lest you walk into a marital cage and call it a marriage.
There are 2 human beings in this relationship and there is no half human but it seems there is a quest to make a human victim out of one of the beings here and that must be resisted. And by the way what makes you think this man won’t dump you if you have any form of delay in child bearing? However, I think the man is doing the best he could with what he has learnt over time and while we may not be able to outrightly condemn him the power you have is to resist and reject his quest to reduce your humanity to a factory that manufactures babies.
Please think again and think deeply about this but if you were my sister it is a no no.
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