TheCable

Before I go any further, I must clarify that this is not an attempt to further disparage the so called third world countries. I sometimes find the whole Third World construct problematic. Not like Chris Oyakhilome’s denunciation of Black as a colour, saying Black is the absence of colour but I have to ask: Who organized the competition where certain countries were graded third?

I know it’s not that simple but for what it’s worth, it’s those same behaviours associated with under-developed third world countries that Trump is now displaying as the US president. If you think I’m being frivolous, imagine how many First World countries would’ve been blowing hot if Trump were the president of any country but the US, worse still, president of a third world country. Can you imagine any (Third World country) president casually inciting violence, suppressing voters, and talking about a third term just a few months to the elections?

Nepotism as a State Policy

In talking about Donald Trump as a Third World president, there are far too many examples to choose from. Even a book wouldn’t do justice. So, I’ll only a few examples. From the very beginning, Trump assumed office fully intent on carrying on as if the presidency were the Trump family business. Unlike other former presidents, he refused to hands off his businesses. He made his daughter Ivanka a White House adviser and appointed her husband Jared Kushner as a senior adviser in the White House. Why not create an Office of the First Daughter and First Son-in-law? Mind you, it wasn’t because of their overwhelming expertise or qualifications.

In spite of how much Trump rails against China for coronavirus and purely for electioneering, Ivanka reportedly received 16 new trademarks from China in 2018 alone for various products such as voting machines. That same 2018, Ivanka and Jared earned $82 million while working at the White House. If you’re in Nigeria and asking: What’s the big deal? It’s because you’re used to Third World ‘anywhowness.’ Ivanka and Jared were initially denied top security clearance but Daddy Trump overruled his advisers and his daughter and son-in-law were given the clearance on his orders. This is mentioned in a new book Donald Trump v. The United States-Inside The Struggle To Stop A President by Pulitzer Prize–winning New York Times reporter Michael S. Schmidt.

How is conscripting your daughter and her husband into working for your government (while using same government to further personal business) different from Rochas Okorocha and his son-on-law in Imo State? That is nepotism, of Third World standard.

Quid Quo Pro Meets Padi-padi

We move from nepotism to cronyism. Call it quid quo pro. Or ‘scratch my back and I scratch yours.’ It’s the same as ‘padi-padi’ (giving favours) although it’s difficult to say whether Trump has real friends.  But give money to his campaign and you could be rewarded with appointments in government which makes everything transactional with Trump or so it seems. Take the case of Gordon Sondland, former US ambassador to the European Union. He reportedly gave a million dollars to the Trump campaign and was actually one of three ambassadors who had donated a million dollars and were made ambassadors. US Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, also a top Trump donor and his wife Aldona Wos got rewarded. DeJoy with USPS and an ambassadorial posting to Canada for his wife.

Voter Suppression or Good ol’ Rigging?

Talking about DeJoy, the most Third World of all Trump’s plans is his brazen attempt to discourage and cancel mail in voting in selected states-usually where he’s not strong. Americans talk about voter suppression, and what not. We call it rigging in these parts. What’s more Third World than trying to dissuade people from voting? How long before Trump upgrades to ballot box snatching? He’s already talked about sending security to polling places. That would deter some people (usually poorer people, usually people of colour, usually not Trump loving) afraid of the law for all kinds of reasons. These armed men can easily turn offensive. Not unlike it happens in many Third World countries. Last week, while commemorating the March on DC, civil rights activist Baptist minister, Rev. Al Sharpton called on the crowd to “be poll watchers” and to “help “protect our votes.”  Is this the same America the world’s richest country? (You can add your own superlatives)

Third Term Agenda

Talk of a third term started as a joke but I doubt that Donald Trump really jokes. Now, he’s saying it almost every chance he gets. He wants four more years because he claims the Obama administration spied on his campaign during the 2016 elections. Even without that excuse, for someone who calls himself ‘the chosen one,’ just the mere fact that he’s the best president (according to him) is enough to hold on to power. After all, all the strong men he admires like Vladimir Putin has been president since 1999. Where, if not in a Third World country does a president talk about a third term when the first term is not yet over?

Corruption or Kwarrupshun?

A lot of this is happening in full public glare like only playing golf in his own golf courses. When he visits (and he has visited 289 times) at least, the secret service people must accompany him among others. They sometimes pay a higher than normal. He wanted the G7 to hold at one his Doral resort. The excuse was that no place was better. The optics are bad but Trump doesn’t care.

Still, in terms to crime, at least as it pertains to people who have worked for him, he seems surrounded by the all sorts. There’s a growing list of convicted former Trump employers. From his personal lawyer Michael Cohen (who was actually sent to prison for crimes he claims were  committed at the behest of Individual One who was the main beneficiary. Individual One was named as Donald Trump. Others are George Papadopoulous, Paul Manafort, Rick Gates and co. The only reason Trump wasn’t charged is because of his position.

Ratings, the American Media Equivalent of Brown Envelopes

The media in America is divided along ideological lines-in that you have an idea what to expect from different media-print to electronic. Unlike in Nigeria where every accusation is linked to ‘brown envelopes,’ the media in America doesn’t have that baggage. However, the American media like the Nigerian media refuses to tackle certain issues head on. For one, they could give Trump less airtime to spread his many lies. Under the guise of analysis and being shocked, different people will talk sense out of the nonsense. In the end, people get simply tired. space but sometimes the US media is shy to name certain things by their correct name. A lie is a lie not ‘factually wrong’ claim. Trump

Four More Years….?

If Trump is reelected, it’s hard to believe that he won’t push for that third term he has been musing about. Or… And if Mitch McConell remains leader of the Senate, with Brett Kavanaugh

BIG BROTHER NAIJA

Kiddrica, What Kind of Ship?

In case you’re wondering what this is about Kiddrica or KiddErica are the most talked about housemates in the ongoing Big Brother Naija (BBN) reality TV show. I’m reasonably certain even people who don’t pay attention to the Big Brother Naija have heard about Kiddrica. And almost everyone has an opinion. Anyhow, just in case you’re one of those who has successfully managed to escape all talk about BBN, Erica Ngozi Nlewedim and Terseer ‘Kiddwaya’ Waya are to all intents and purposes involved in some kind of relationship. At least Erica seems to think they’re an item. Some viewers insist what the two have is actually a situation-ship. I will refrain from repeating other derogatory comments.

Why Is Erica Under Fire?

Put another way: Why is it only Erica that’s under fire? This past week was full of drama, especially last Friday. Between Thursday night and Friday morning, there was some understanding that Erica and Kiddwaya had broken up. Kiddwaya had implied that Erica will get hurt for loving someone like him and that this love process was much slower than hers. Things however came to a head after the Friday night Truth or Dare game. There was a lot to drink, and crazier dares carried out. Erica who has proved unable to hold her drink was drunk or to use her words ‘a little bit tipsy’. It was in this state she tried to query Kiddwaya over his actions during the game which included licking drink off Dorathy’s ample bosom. The purpose of this is not to rehash the events of Friday that kept viewers up till the wee hours. Suffice it to say Erica should definitely not drink.

I am interested in the conversation concerning Erica and how many people have come down hard on Erica. On one hand, you have women talking about how she has ‘disgraced’ women with her crying and going after a man who doesn’t appear to share the same deep feelings. Then, there are men who just dismiss her as ‘useless’ for having sex in the House. Erica has also been called a gold digger. The idea is that her interest in Kiddwaya is because of his wealthy father. As if any of those people would’ve rejected Kiddwaya’s advances because of the said wealth.

Speaking of advances, did Kiddwaya really make advances towards Erica? This is the most cited offence against her. It’s the fact that Kiddwaya didn’t make any advances towards Erica. In other words, he didn’t ‘chase’ her. Everyone talked like they’re very much in charge of their own relationships in real life which is simply not true. What’s the big deal about being chased anyhow? Does it still matter who does the chasing? I thought that many women were on course to proposing to men they fancy.

Head or tail, Women Can’t Win

I’m reminded again of the Ofunneka story I shared two weeks ago. I don’t want to over flog that case, but I did mention how Ofunneka was punished in 2006 by viewers especially women for making one mistake. Meanwhile Richard, the man who was the main actor in that unfortunate episode went on to win with the help of some angry fans of Ofunneka. Wonder if they were really her fans. But I digress.

The point is that the same people who can write a thesis on Erica’s unsuitability casually shrug off all of Kiddwaya’s perceived bad boy behaviour of being a flirt or what another housemate Trikkytee calls ‘Kiddwaya being Kiddwaya’. Why is no one querying his actions or inactions? Whether Kiddwaya chased Erica or not, why can’t he show her some respect? Some people do more for platonic friends.

Ozo as ‘snake on top yam’?

Erica is not the only one in a situation-ship. Ozo seems besotted with Nengi. Nengi, on the other hand has told him many times he’s just like a brother. However, unlike Erica, Nengi is ‘holding’ herself although it’s equally important to note that Ozo has not tried to take advantage of her. He doesn’t make it all about the sex. And he’s done all he can to show her the lengths he’ll go to please her.

Now, ‘snake on top yam’ means straddling something you can’t eat. In spite of out-of-the-world stories of Nigerian government snakes swallowing millions of Naira, snakes usually don’t eat yam. There may be men who think Ozo is ‘dulling’ or whatever slang is most current or that he is disgracing men in general. You think you’d do better?

After all’s said, the BBN House is not the right environment to conduct a proper love relationship. How many can survive their lives being monitored 24/7? This is why I said two weeks ago, I can’t take part in show like Big Brother. I do know like English Premier League teams, BBN fans need to go all in but we should cut the housemates some slack, sometimes.

Nwabuikwu, AIRTIME columnist is a renowned TV/Film critic, and Film scholar. She also has experience in Advertising as a senior Copywriter and Corporate Communications as Communications consultant. Email: [email protected]