K1: Patrick Doyle’s palsied apologia

Patrick Doyle, a broadcaster and some grade of celebrity, hit the back of the net in his defence of K1’s tarmac tantrum. Unfortunately, it was an own goal.

In a Facebook post sighted via Yabaleft Online, the broadcaster claimed that the airline staff baited K1 into misbehaving. He reached into his own experience, describing how had been similarly treated by service personnel but heroically resisted the urge to detonate.

That, ironically, is where his argument crashes into itself. What Doyle offered in that post was no defence of K1, but a rebuke cloaked in wrong-headed solidarity. His explanation does not exonerate K1. It indicts, if not convicts, him.

Doyle recalled being bawled at, denied a request and clearly targeted like the service personnel left their homes with the sole objective of giving him a torrid time. Even then, he did not explode. He simply took the hit to his ego, zipped up his pride and jogged on. No drama. No scene. No ego parade. That is not just self-restraint, but also proof that decorum is possible even in the face of naked provocation (if his story is true).

So, you have to wonder how he transited from “I resisted the temptation” to “I don’t blame him for being a Balotelli-type out-of-control shithead”. It simply does not make sense to hand yourself a trophy for passing the test, then turn around to give K1 the Ballon d’Or for flunking it in spectacular fashion.

If K1 was baited, he took it like a famished fish with no sense of occasion. Rather than condemn the show of shame, Doyle shrugs and spiritualizes it, charging it into the account of “irritants” and praying for self-control, as though self-discipline is a divine lottery rather than personal responsibility.

Being a celebrity is not the same as being a deity deserving of worship. It simply means, especially at a spitting distance from the age of 70, your platform demands higher conduct. It demands grace under pressure, not gragra under provocation like a “wooligans”.

K1 was not riled. He was recklessly drunk on himself, gave a middle finger to the society and asked: “Watcha-gonna do about it?” I have been told by many, including entertainment journalists, that he has form in that regard. Doyle shouldn’t call nkita enwe for us. Abi he wan become K2 ni?