Licensing firearms? Perish that thought

The Nigerian senate wants to arm citizens. Let that sink in for a moment. Last week, the upper chamber passed a motion calling on the federal government to review our firearm laws so “responsible citizens” can own guns. Their reasoning? Escalating insecurity in Kwara, Kebbi, and Niger states. Schools getting raided. Churches attacked. Bandits running riot.

The motion followed the November 18 attack on Christ Apostolic Church in Eruku, Kwara state, where two worshippers were killed and 38 abducted. Senators noted that all 47 unity schools nationwide have shut down because of security concerns.

Thousands of children can’t go to school because we can’t protect them.

So the solution, according to our distinguished lawmakers, is to put guns in civilian hands.

I have one question: Have these senators actually met Nigerians?

Don’t get me wrong – I know plenty of level-headed, responsible people. But I also know that this is a country where a man will stab his neighbour over a parking space. Where a bus conductor and a danfo driver will nearly come to blows over N50. Where someone will pull out a cutlass because his girlfriend smiled at another man. Now imagine these same people with licensed firearms.

The senators argue that over 175 countries allow responsible citizens to own guns legally. Fair point. But those countries also have functioning systems. They have police who respond when you call 911. They have courts that work. They have psychiatric evaluations before gun licenses are issued. They have training requirements and background checks that actually mean something.

What do we have? A country where you can buy a police uniform at Alaba market. Where fake certificates are common currency. Where people bribe their way through driving tests. You think our gun licensing system will be any different?

Let me paint you a picture of what firearms licensing will look like in Nigeria. First, the licensing office will become another revenue-generating unit for corrupt officials. You’ll need to “settle” someone to get your application processed. The background check will be a joke – just bring a letter from your Local Government Chairman (which you can also buy). The psychiatric evaluation? That will be handled by some quack who calls himself “Doctor” but got his certificate from a two-week course in Aba.

Within six months, every area boy in Lagos will have a “licensed” firearm. Every political thug will be armed legally. Every land grabber, every cult member, every yahoo boy who wants to feel like a big man – all legally armed.

The senate claims this will help us fight insecurity. How exactly? Are we expecting citizens to form vigilante groups and go hunt bandits in the forest? Are we turning every neighbourhood into the Wild West?

Here’s what will actually happen: The number of deaths in this country will triple overnight.We’ll start seeing shootouts between citizens and police at checkpoints. Some hothead who’s been asked for his driver’s license will pull out his licensed gun because “I know my rights.” The police officer, already trigger-happy and poorly trained, will open fire. Instant chaos.

Traffic disputes will turn deadly. That woman who scratches your car in a parking lot? Bang. That okada rider who clips your side mirror? Bang. That neighbour whose generator is too loud at night? Bang.

Road traffic officials asking for “something small”? They’ll be dodging bullets instead of collecting bribes. Traffic officials will need bulletproof vests as standard uniform.

And don’t even get me started on what will happen during elections. Right now, political thugs use cutlasses and broken bottles. Imagine them with licensed firearms. The 2027 elections will look like a civil war.

Some will say I’m exaggerating. That I’m not giving Nigerians enough credit. That responsible people will use guns responsibly.

Really? In a country where people pull out phones to record accident victims instead of helping them? Where mob justice is the first response to suspected thieves? Where someone will set a young man on fire because he allegedly stole a phone?

The senators mentioned that communities should “remain vigilant and united.” They want us to support security agencies while being armed ourselves. That’s not vigilance – that’s a recipe for anarchy.

The real problem is not that Nigerians don’t have guns. The problem is that our security agencies are underfunded, poorly equipped, and badly trained. The problem is that bandits and terrorists operate with impunity because our response systems are broken. The problem is that intelligence gathering is weak and coordination between security agencies is terrible.

You know what will actually work? Proper funding for security agencies. Modern equipment and technology – drones, surveillance systems, armoured vehicles. Better training for our police and military. Effective intelligence networks. Swift prosecution of arrested criminals so they don’t just walk free.

And yes, state police. I’ve said it before on this page – we need state police if we must defeat this insecurity. Let governors have their own security forces that understand local terrain and can respond quickly. Let them be accountable for security in their states.

But flooding the streets with licensed firearms? That’s not a security solution. That’s a death wish.

The senate also commended President Bola Tinubu for cancelling foreign trips to coordinate security responses, which led to the release of 38 abductees in Kwara and 51 students in Niger state. Good. That’s what leadership should look like – present, engaged, coordinating action.

But the president needs to ignore this firearms licensing idea completely.

I understand the frustration. People are tired of feeling helpless while bandits raid their communities. Parents are terrified of sending their children to school. Worshippers can’t even pray in peace. I get it.

But the answer is not to turn Nigeria into a shooting range.

We need to fix our security architecture, not arm an already volatile population. We need to invest in technology and intelligence, not distribute firearms like party souvenirs. We need to make our institutions work, not create new avenues for corruption and chaos.

The senators say Nigeria’s firearm laws should “reflect current security challenges.” I agree our laws need reviewing – but in the opposite direction. We need stricter controls, not looser ones. We need to get illegal weapons off our streets, not add more legal ones to the mix.

Let me be clear: I’m not saying Nigerians are inherently violent or irresponsible. But we live in a society with deep tensions – ethnic, religious, and economic. We have millions of angry, frustrated people who feel the system has failed them. We have weak institutions and limited accountability.
Adding guns to that equation is like pouring petrol on a burning house.

The senate should focus on what actually works. Push for massive security sector reform. Demand better intelligence coordination. Insist on modern equipment for our security forces. Support state police creation.

But licensing firearms for citizens? Perish that thought.

We should be reducing the number of guns in circulation, not increasing them. We should be making it harder for criminals to get weapons, not creating a system that makes it easier.

Because make no mistake – any licensing system we create will be abused. The same way driver’s licenses are bought and sold, gun licenses will be too. In the same way police reports can be manipulated, gun background checks will be. In the same way age falsification happens, it will happen for gun licenses.

And when a 19-year-old boy with anger issues and a fake age declaration gets a “licensed” gun, and he uses it to settle a score with his rival from the next street, the senators who pushed for this law will say they didn’t see it coming.

We’ll all see it coming. Because we know how Nigeria works.

So here’s my advice to the federal government: Thank the senate for its input, file the motion in the archive where it belongs, and focus on real solutions.

Equip the police. Modernise our security infrastructure. Create state police. Invest in technology and intelligence gathering. Hold security chiefs accountable for failures. Prosecute arrested criminals swiftly.

These are the solutions. Not firearms in civilian hands. Because the day we start issuing gun licenses en masse in Nigeria, we might as well start building more mortuaries. We’ll need them.