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My pastor beats his wife… how can I help?

My pastor beats his wife… how can I help?
August 03
19:48 2015

Dear Praise,

I have been battling with what to do with this classified information until I stumbled on your column and became convinced that you might just be the right person to help out with this case. I worship in a fast growing church in Porthacourt and the calling of God upon my pastor is not in doubt.

His wife was my closest friend when we were in school. I noticed she sometimes absents herself from church and I couldn’t put my hands on the problem until my pastor travelled for a speaking engagement abroad and got closer to her only to discover that he had been beating her. I was too shocked to realize some of the elders of the church knew about it but everyone is afraid to touch God’s anointed. Please kindly help out with what to do because she secretly told me that she feared for her life because the last time he almost choked her to death.

Chidera, Port Harcourt

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Hello Chidera,

Thanks so much for being a friend that cares and God bless you out for reaching out on behalf of your friend and I hope my counsel would help because we have had to wade in on cases like this at several times and I am to be as plain about it once again even though the religious people may not agree with me.

  • The person beating your friend is not a pastor the person beating her is her husband who is a man and not a man of God.
  • We confuse the two in Africa and that is the reason people get away with evil simply because the people allowed it.
  • What is happening is classified as domestic violence and it is more or less a criminal offence when it begins to move in the direction of attempted murder in which choking could be classified as one.
  • That man behind the pulpit could be your pastor but the man at home is a citizen of the federal republic of Nigeria and therefore a human being that can be prosecuted and convicted if found guilty
  • The covenant of life is superior to the covenant of marriage hence you must save your friend before she gets killed.
  • Touch not my anointed that they use to perpetrate evil in Nigeria was not talking about an individual in the Bible it was a scripture meant for the nation Israel.
  • Every child of God is anointed including the lady that is being assaulted so God’s anointed is being touched and being harmed.

Now here are my suggestions:

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  • Find a way to report the case to a human rights activist agency or an NGO that specializes in domestic violence
  • Also lodge a complaint on her behalf with the police or any agency that can help. In Lagos we have the office of the public defender I don’t know what works in PH
  • Find a way to report to her parents as well so that they can find a way to evacuate their daughter before she gets killed. And trust me the man you call the pastor may not be mentally stable hence the need to subject him to some form of psychiatry test.
  • That man must be subjected to serious counseling and made to sign an undertaking before the two of them ever come together again.

Please note that the law doesn’t recognize religious titles so people should not hide under that title to perpetrate evil. Please save your friend before her so called anointed man anoints her to death.

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Is it right to marry a lady your cousin has dated before?

Hello Praise,

I met this lady recently and fell in love with her only to discover she used to date my first cousin and this is troubling me. Even though my cousin swore to me that nothing sexual ever happened between them but it’s tough for me to continue. What do you think sir?

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Chris, Lagos.

Dear Chris,

I am trying to lay my hands on what the problem is and the only question that readily came to mind is to ask if you have ever dated someone’s daughter or cousin in your life?

Why would you want to judge her by what happened in the past? What if it wasn’t your cousin she dated? And what if you were the one that once dated her cousin?

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I don’t believe we should rate people based on their past. What would happen if you found out they were sexually involved? Are you a saint without a past?

What matters at the moment is who she is not who she used to be and once you can accurately process that I think you are good.

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On a lighter note if she tells you tomorrow that she is the only daughter of Bill Gates would this your sentiments still matter?

Bro fall in love with a person not a past and in case this matter keeps troubling you please let her go lest you make her life miserable.

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5 Comments

  1. Ruthelia
    Ruthelia August 05, 00:43

    In the case of a Pastor beating his wife. I would like to say it as A man beating his wife. Many have well hidden under the pretense of being a religious leader to perpetrate evil. This concludes the reason why the Bible says we should look unto Jesus. Never was the Disciples nor pastors or whatever attributes given to any religious leader mention. its high time we do the right thing no matter who is guilty. Pls report to d man legally and avoid taken laws into your hands out of love for your friend. In the interim, don’t make the man ‘Pastor’ suspicious as this might mean more punishments for your dear friend.

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  2. Patty
    Patty August 05, 10:49

    Hello Praise,

    I want to really appreciate what you do on this platform. I have read many counsels you give to people and they are always so wonderful.

    May God continue to uphold you in His Wisdom and give health to you and yours in Jesus name,

    Amen!

    Reply to this comment
  3. JT
    JT August 05, 12:41

    I understand Chris’ fear and it is natural.He’s not expecting his wife to be a virgin,just that he does not want to know what she did in her past.Sadly,the connection to the past has come to close for comfort.Praise,I’m sure you know about’old flames’.The flames really don’t burn out.Given the right environment,his cousin and Chris’ wife might ‘touch base’. It’s not funny!

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  4. geopet
    geopet August 05, 22:05

    Your comment..Any man who turns his wife into a punching bag Is not worth the name “MAN”. he should rather be called a beast. Being a man of GOD as alleged by the reporter or complainant compounds his problem the more because even GOD himself won’t consider him to be serious. In as much as we know that women could be funny sometimes and as human despite his anointing, there are tendencies of being furious, he should devise other means of tackling the situation such as leaving that environment for a while to avert possible crises. Besides as a clergy, he ought to be more matured in handling such matters through the help of the Holy Spirit. Except if there are more to his ministry than the eyes could see.

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  5. davidthelaw
    davidthelaw August 11, 18:08

    I want to appreciate Praise so mich for your apt response to the lady whoes Pastor Husband beats her. i am a pastor and I have always stressed that men who beat their wives under want ever excuse have are not humans…….I believe that while it is very true that some women themselves are very trying but one claims to have the call of God upon his life must learn to exercise Christlike patience….I agree with you in toto, he must face the legal consequences of his actions pastor or not

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