BY Dayo Oladele-Ilori
During a recruitment exercise we had recently, one of the shortlisted candidates was a young girl, fresh from school.
She applied for the position of front desk officer. After taking her through a routine drill of competency-based interview questions, I switched to understanding her future aspiration. She told me she would like to become a Brand Manager. I asked if she knew what it entailed to become one and how the Job she was applying for would get her there within a time frame of five years. I realised that although the route to her success was not so clear to her, she at least had the “big picture” – this was a good start.
Daring to dream beyond the confines of current existence or the space created by daddy/husband/family has been a major challenge for many women. Many successful women today trod in the murky waters of lowly background – born in the manger, raised on the street, homeless without a shelter and all of the pangs of hunger. Yet these women have grown out of despair into beauty and achievement far beyond reach. How did they get there despite all odds?
One of the few goals I set out to achieve was to have my own business either wholly or partially on the side by the time I had worked for ten years. I didn’t know exactly what line of business but my focus was more on sustainability, independence and financial freedom. My focus was also to achieve my dream as a writer and trainer. I was also caught in the whirlwind of earning a living, pursuing my dreams, learning a new skill and dancing to the dictates of the new economy of technology. In a nutshell and in all of what I can call a cocktail many confusing and conflicting options, an ace was unique, I wanted to live my dream, I wanted to birth my imagination at the delivery room of reality, I had the BIG PICTURE. It wasn’t just enough to be in someone else’s shadow, it wasn’t enough to ride on the rollercoaster of whatever popularity my parents gathered in their hay days. It wasn’t enough to wait to bear Mme Quelqu’un or Mrs. Lakasegbe or Ms.Myfather’sname. I proposed in my heart to at least build a unique identity that would help me leave indelible prints in the sands of time. Armed with determination and the right attitude, it became easy to stay in the right direction despite many challenging and discouraging distractions. This has also helped me to recognise valuable people and a wonderful support system necessary for the journey.
Many women live under the illusion of “If only I can get married, my life will just be perfect”. Another woman who is married will say “I wish my husband was pushful and supportive, I would have achieved my goal”. Hmmm……..Have you ever sat to ask yourself the direction you are headed? I didn’t set out to become an entrepreneur at first. My preferred option was to have my business on the side and still have a regular income, but many circumstances and conditions left me with no other choice than to take up the challenge earlier than planned. It became easier to handle the pressure of starting up a business because I already proposed a similar identity in my dreams.
Many women sleep and wake up with certain natural identity – wife, mother, sister, sister-in-law etc. Many have resigned themselves to fate, living the life of a mediocre when they have a spring of potentials, drying up daily in their life. It is not too late to begin that journey of self-realisation. You can start by asking yourself – what were my dreams as a young girl, as a teenager or an undergrad? What do I want people to know me for beyond my marital status or the privileges bestowed on me by my parentage or lineage? What have I done to work towards this dream? It is about creating a channel of fulfillment which will bring great memories in old age. Ask yourself: “What treasures have God deposited in me? How do I fire them up to fruition?” Remember, it is not about perfection but genuineness.
www.dayooladelilori.com
Email: dayo.oladele.ilori@gmail.com
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