Over the years, I have had to counsel too far many unhappy and pressurized-people as an effect of the foolishness I want to open your eyes to right now. Being foolish is bad, but being foolish without knowing is worse. And many have been unwise without knowing. This breed of foolishness is the most terrible of all shackles and I hope after reading through this rich-piece that you will be set free from it.
Now, social media has succeeded in shrinking the whole world to the size of a village. We now live very close to ourselves virtually but very far away in reality. You can have millions of friends on social media and be alone in reality. Also, knowledge has increased astronomically but we relate very poorly. There is an outbreak of gifts and talents but rock-solid character is now as scarce as an eagle. The more things change, the more they remain the same.
One of the things that social media has achieved is to put several millions of people under unnecessary pressure and to make them unhappy on a daily basis. How do I mean? Social media has a way of making you unhappy, putting you under pressure on the condition that you are fond of going on it to compare yourself to others, because you believe they have what you do not have—which may not be true. You know social media is a make-believe world!
For the umpteenth time, when you compare yourself to others, you often compare their best features against your perceived average ones. And comparisons between people are a recipe and formula for despondency and being under unnecessary pressure, and this has led to the death of many people. This is why it is foolish to compare yourself to other folks. Infact, you have no reason under heaven to do that.
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The only way out of the shackles of the foolishness of comparing yourself to other people is—being you. Be satisfied with where you are and what you have per time. If you are single, never compare yourself to those who are married. And if you are expecting your own children, never compare yourself to those who are having children. Never assume that those who have what you think you do not have are happier than you. Be satisfied with who you are, what you have and where you are right now.
Over the years, I have found out that many are stagnated because they have been spending all their time and energy, focusing on other people instead of focusing on themselves and what they can do. But when you start being you, you stop focusing on others and start concentrating on you and how you can improve yourself to be better this year than you were last year. You stop worrying about others, wasting the energy you are supposed to use to better your own life, ministry and business. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you become happier and you break-free from the shackles of false comparisons. May you be free right now!
God’s revelatory word is against comparing yourself to other people: “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise (2 Cor.10:12).” When you compare yourself to others and you become unhappy and pressurized, what you are silently saying is that they are better than you. But the truth is, you are perfect for the problem God has sent you on earth to solve!
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When a short person compares himself to someone who is tall, he begins to feel unqualified and unworthy. He begins to believe that the one who is taller than him is better than him. But he has forgotten that his success in life, business and ministry depends on what he has on the inside, not what’s on the outside. No one fails just because he’s short and no one becomes successful just because he’s tall.
Decades ago, I remember having a counseling session with someone who looked at herself and believed that she was nothing. She believed no man would marry her because she believed she was not good enough for any man. Why did she come up with those false-realities about herself? She was always comparing herself to other ladies around her! She became so sad on a daily basis and eventually, she began to lose her sleep. She was counseled and she stopped focusing her energy on others and started concentrating and working on herself and gradually she began to feel deserving and eligible. And gradually she began to regain her confidence. Today, she is married and doing very well in marriage!
It is thoughtless and impudent to compare yourself to others. There are women who compare their bags and shoes to that of others. And there are men who compare their cars to that of others. This is why they have been living in sadness and under pressure for years. When you start enjoying what you have per time, you will be free from worry and start living a worry-free-life. Instead of comparing yourself to others, concentrate on your reason for coming to the face of the earth. Life is never about material things. What you have is what you need per time!
Many marriages have collapsed and those that are yet to totally collapse are void of joy and happiness because a lot of married men and women are guilty of the issue I am addressing right now. Hear me, there are many women who compare their husbands to that of other people and there are men who compare their wives to other people’s wives. This is what has ended many homes and this is why many people are currently not happy with their marriages. For further counseling, send me a mail: [email protected] or fellowship with me at the Faith For The Nations Christian Centre, Ikeja, Lagos State.
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Lastly, you will begin enjoying your marriage when you stop focusing on other people’s marriages and start concentrating on yours. Never assume that those marriages you are comparing yours to are better than yours. May you stop being foolish (comparing yourself to other people) right now and start being wise (concentrating on yourself and what God has given you per time).
