TheCable

Please forgive me for returning to the Big Brother topic so soon. After all, wasn’t it only just last week I was asking whether this season of Big Brother Naija was the most boring in the history of BBN? So, why am I back (again) so soon? What changed? Well, the short answer is that BBN 6 is coming to an end very soon. Infact, as soon as this weekend. Also, having followed events in the House these past 60-something days, it only makes sense to see the show to its logical conclusion. On the other hand, the story choices before me this week weren’t so great.

If you don’t believe me, let’s check out what’s trending in the news concerning Nigeria: President Buhari went to the United Nations General Assembly in New York. Let’s leave the bit about him painting the picture of everything being hunky dory back home in Nigeria (or ‘Liegeria’ according to Ogbeni Maiyegun). For instance, it was news to me and many Nigerians that our government built hospitals to combat COVID 19 and other fables. Then, we took our rent-a-crowd passion international (did I say we?) by paying homeless Black people in New York to hold pro-Buhari/government protests. Just by seeing their over-manicured placards alone, it was easy to tell that these weren’t patriotic Nigerians supporting their country.

The words on the placards also gave the game away. I saw things like ‘Christians in northern Nigeria are not under attack’ or words to that effect. Why were there no placards saying Nigeria was now more secure than ever? Or that President Buhari no longer goes abroad for every medical attention. Reuben Abati on Arise TV was trying to spin this by saying every country rents a crowd for UN purposes, singling out Israel. Although Prof Bolaji Akinyemi who later came on the show begged to differ because he said he never rented a crowd, neither pro nor anti-during his time as Nigeria’s external affairs minister under the Babangida administration in the 80s. In any case, why are we always quick to compare Nigeria to other countries when it has to do with bad behaviour? Can Nigeria compare itself to Israel in terms of overall living standards of its citizens? Or the security of Nigerians? Why is it so easy for us to see and emulate the bad things some countries do but slow to emulate them in other ways?

This same kind of logic was again used to justify minister of information Alhaji Lai Mohammed’s attribution of the lull in tourism to COVID 19 and vaccine nationalism by developed countries. As far as vaccines are concerned, it’s true that while developing countries have yet to vaccinate any appreciable size of their population, some developed countries, having vaccinated a sizeable portion of their population, are moving on to give their citizens booster shots. This much is the crux of the ongoing negotiations by the WHO and WTO with countries like the US and others to help the poorer countries. We all know where Nigeria falls, the so-called giant of Africa.

That being said, is the fear of kidnappers and bandits helping to restrict people’s movements/tourism more than COVID 19? I mean things are so bad that the NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) released a ‘whole’ brochure to advise corps members on what to do if (or rather) when they are kidnapped. People are now deciding on doing only essential trips. Late July/early August, I had cause to travel by road from Abuja to my village Lampese (Edo State) and some of my friends were beside themselves with worry. But it was an essential trip that I had to undertake as far as I was concerned. I was attending my brother Henry’s wedding (to Emmanuella). As the first child of my father, I took it as my duty to attend the wedding of my little brother, someone I carried as a baby even though he’s not so little now. But I digress. But you do get my drift? We are surrounded by problems, many self-inflicted and instead of proffering workable solutions, we go on to blame everything and everyone. Don’t ask who this ‘we’ is. Anyway, it was either I play, what we used to call (in Nigerian journalism) Afghanistanism-which is the practice of ignoring what’s in your shokoto (Yoruba for trousers), that is, the reality that’s staring you in the face. Or chase a story that’s in the proverbial faraway place called Sokoto. Well, Sokoto does exist as the capital of Sokoto State in northern part of Nigeria. It’s just as well that BBN isn’t really that faraway or out of people’s consciousness.

I’m also keenly conscious of the fact that Nigeria’s 61^st Independence Anniversary is barely two days away. I decided to bring a blast from the past (2012) because I’m not sure I have enough words to write about why Nigeria and Independence shouldn’t be in the same sentence. In any case, Gov. Nyesom Wike of Rivers State does a better job as he waxed poetic during a church service to mark the upcoming Independence Day: “At 61, Nigeria is still talking about enmity, hatred, division; we’re still talking about a country that cannot put itself together. You hate a state because of an individual. You discriminate against some people because of their religion, because of where they come from…Sixty-one years old, where is the legislature? A legislature that accepts anything they bring as right; a legislature that cannot say Nigeria has gotten to the stage of conducting a free and fair election. A legislature that will close its eyes to borrowing. The money we are borrowing, where we are applying it?”

In other news, the Nigerian Airforce mistakenly bombed another Borno State community, again. As I was writing this, news came that Prof. Dora Akunyili’s husband Dr. Chike Akunyili, had been gruesomely murdered by so called unknown gunmen (UGM). And so-called bandits, otherwise known as terrorists, have been on rampage this week, from Sokoto to Zamfara to Niger State. But Northern governors are more concerned with retaining the presidency come 2023. As Hakeem Baba-Ahmed, spokesman for the Northern Elders Forum, boasts: “We will lead Nigeria the way we have led Nigeria before. Whether we are president or vice-president, we will lead Nigeria.” Now we know who to hold responsible for Nigeria’s sorry state. Imagine Nigeria, a country of a doubtful 200 million people overtaking both China and India combined as the country with the greatest number of the world’s poorest. India and China are over 2 billion people!

Yet, Hakeem Baba Ahmed is proud to beat his chest that they have been leading Nigeria. Nigeria’s political leaders are generally self-centred. However, it now seems like political and religious leaders from the north may the most selfish, yet.

• Should White Money Win BBN 6?

Forgive the long introduction, where were we? The question I’d really wanted to ask was: Shouldn’t White Money win BBN 6? Or put another way: White Money should win BBN 6, biko. There, I said it. I haven’t always been clear on who I wanted to win though. As I said last week, the fact remains that this season of Big Brother Naija saw a lot of personality-challenged housemates. Picking one person over the other was difficult. Clarity came for me after the white room twist last Sunday which saw Pere and Angel sent to the white room to fight for one remaining spot-the 5^th spot. In one Big Brother twist too many, the two housemates were to play a game and the winner would clinch the last spot.

However, viewers were quick to complain with some people actually taking to the streets to protest. Their main grouse was that Pere had over 25% of the vote to Angel’s 14% plus. Meanwhile, while in the white room, Angel and Pere decided to make White Money their bashing-topic. There was this whole thing about White Money’s perceived strategy: his cooking and cleaning up after for everyone and generally for being too nice because according to angel, no one can be so nice. I say anyone who can pretend to be nice for 72 days deserves every kobo promised by Big Brother. Who cares if it’s a strategy?

This brings me to the matter of strategy. Somehow, Angel and Pere who each have their own strategies, managed to turn the word strategy to a swear word. Nigerian Big Brother housemates (contestants) have always had a problem with admitting to having a strategy. With our propensity for delusional hypocrisy, we’ve somehow internalized that owning up to having a strategy somehow makes us bad people? You hear housemates saying things like: “I’ll just be myself.” Let’s even assume that being yourself is what the viewers want because you’re naturally entertaining. But you see, that decision to be yourself is in itself a strategy. To those who’re happy to claim they don’t have a strategy, I always say that anyone who’s planning to win over 90 million naira without a strategy is the fool. On Big Brother Canada, everyone’s busy plotting and making alliances. No one is afraid to say they have a strategy.

I still don’t understand why a smart man like Pere would focus so much on another housemate’s strategy. Not only that, proceed, like an FBI agent-wannabe, to make unravelling/unmasking White Money, his life mission. As if the viewers are not discerning enough to decide which housemate they like. When Pere was asked by Big Brother to predict the order the top 6 would finish, assuming he’s the winner, he put White Money as no. 6. Why can’t White Money be the winner? Take a look at the top 6. Is it Angel? What would be the message? In any case, if 14% voted for Angel last week against White Money and Pere (which put her behind Pere and White Money), will their (White Money and Pere) fans now abandon them as finalists, when the prize is within their sights, to vote for Angel? Liquorose, Emmanuel and Cross had gotten automatic qualification to the finale but personality-wise, what stands Emmanuel out to win? I like Liquorose but you need something extra. Cross is a different case altogether. As for Pere, I get that he’s perhaps the most evolved housemate, coming from a vengeful-SOB- especially much earlier in the show. Now he’s much better and is clearly talented. But I can’t forget some of his stunts in a hurry. Imagine him lying that he had some kind of sexual entanglement with Maria.

All said, I’m happy that the duo of Saga and Nini didn’t make it to the finale.

BLAST FROM THE PAST

Did you know it was Independence?

Monday October 1, 2012 was Nigeria’s 52nd Independence anniversary. Not that you needed reminding. I’m also fairly certain that the events of the past one to two weeks would have jogged the memory of even the worst amnesiac. So, did you feel the Independence Day spirit on October 1? And did you celebrate? Or are you one of those who think there’s nothing worth celebrating? Enough has been said already about how much Nigeria hasn’t improved and the fact that there should be more achievements to show for 52 years as a nation. There are also those who think that the fact that Nigeria still exists as one country is something to celebrate. At least. There’s a case to be made for both opinions. Although as with all extremes, there’s not enough perspective because issues are always skewed to only one side at any given time. Believers of the ‘Nothing-good-can-come-out-of-Nigeria’ which is in line with ‘Nigeria Jagajaga’ don’t provide enough alternatives. Some of them would rather hold onto their cynicism for dear life and are certain to be sad were things to improve. On the other hand, those singing the ‘Things-Are-Getting-Better’ tune are either deliberately being ignorant or insincere. Or both. But I’m convinced there’s a middle ground and it’s a better alternative.

Still, my immediate interest is with how the government marked Nigeria’s Independence-the part I witnessed on TV. I somehow managed to miss almost all the pre-October 1st events, no thanks to PHCN. And my plan to watch the live TV broadcast of President Goodluck Jonathan’s anniversary speech set for 7 am proved to be too ambitious.

Anyhow, the Independence Day activities took place I believe inside the state house by the federal government in what looked like a well-attended event. I am not one of those who think not marking the Day at its traditional venue of Eagle Square Abuja was a sign of cowardice. Apparently, many people had misgivings enough to make presidential spokesman Reuben Abati come on the news (NTA) to respond. As an Abuja resident, if marking the Independence anniversary away from the Eagle Square helps to save lives and keep the peace, why not?

But I didn’t like that the event looked rather back-room-ish and back door-ish though. The seating arrangement didn’t look spacious as the president and other guests appeared a little cooped up.   It would have been impossible to tell that the event broadcast live by NTA and AIT was taking place in Aso Villa from the pictures alone. It was not unlike a few Nollywood movies where so much is made about how wealthy the characters are only to see them going out or entering ‘their homes’ through the back door.

And I worry more about our fixation with soldiers. We celebrate Democracy Day with soldiers taking centre stage. We celebrate Independence Day with soldiers doing almost everything. Why is so much made of the change of guards? As far as I can see, these are just soldiers marching, doing things that are not necessarily spectacular. Why can’t we create programmes to remind us of all of just how much our founding fathers fought for Nigeria’s Independence? Why can’t we have some form of Nigerian entertainment? October 1 should be when Nigerians are reminded just why they should be proud of their country. It should be a day to sow hope, of new beginnings.