TheCable

Wekeweke, Wekeweke…… that radio jingle usually fills my car as I drive to work through the Ojota axis to connect Ikorodu road. It was early 2000’s and it couldn’t have been better delivered, yet it came under so much fire and criticism. And a few months later, competition responded in defiance with a match-for-match “press-up” radio jingle. And on went the war between two sister companies, providing comfort to consumers. When “mama na boy” hit the airwaves and girl child advocates hit the street with complaints, the organization quickly changed the sound of their cymbal – “mama na  twins”.

I wonder where these advocates are these days as the airwaves play host to some cancerous adverts that continues to feed off the female folks. Globally, the story is not very different. Women are been portrayed daily as objects of satisfaction, or tools of trade rather than as customers/consumers. When a bottle of wine is to be advertised, a scantily dressed woman may be made to carry it to the man, depicting a woman as an object of satisfaction. It’s very evident from nude suggestive pictures splashed across the billboards in large cities. Young boys and girls see this vivid expression and start to form opinions on how to treat both genders.

A few months back, when I started witnessing a fresh war on women, I just concluded that the fight to eradicate violence against women will always be a tough battle to conquer. In Nigeria, (and ditto to some other parts of the world), the disaffection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an open secret. That a TV commercial which has equally seized spaces on social media will feed off this cultural unsettling notion is what’s quite appalling. We in our little way and space of influence have the power to erase certain biases, negative notions and re-write the narratives instead of strengthening it.When a TV commercial shows a wife panicking in the kitchen because her mother-in-law is coming to visit, or a wife trying all she can to satisfy her mother-in-law, then it is worrisome.

The subtle seed of women-against-women is been gradually sown, it is absolutely absurd. Are we strengthening the fact that mother-in-law will always be a thorn in the flesh of their son’s wife? The wife was panting and sweating, whilst been instructed on what and how to cook; are we also confirming that mothers have failed to bring up the girls properly to know how to cook? The son-husband was looking intensely at his mother to get an approval of his wife’s cooking and acceptance as she took a sip. It’s an interesting sight each time I watch. We are also reinforcing the fact that it is ok for the boy-husband to seek approval of his mother and sought her face to accept the wife at all cost. There are several dysfunctional commercials and jingles that continue to strip women of their pride and dignity. I often wonder if women do not exist in the leadership of these organizations or if the board that censors these commercials are bereft of women in their decision making panel.

Another commercial also show a mother-in-law inspecting the whole house for cleanliness before hugging her daughter-in-law who was clad in pure white. Hmmm… so this gives right to the mother-in-law to do as she wishes with her daughter-in-law if she finds her wanting. Why does the media feed off the inadequacies of the female gender? Why is the media pitching women against women? But there are females within the media industry who sees these very obnoxious tendencies. Where are the women, the real women?

The power of the media cannot be ignored or trivialized; Perception becomes reality. The print, TV, billboards and now the social media all have ways of encroaching on our beliefs and resetting our thinking to forgive some misgiving and swallow some bitter pills. The battle within the female clan is fiercer, not because we loathe one another but because we as a gender haven’t decided on an acceptable set of behavior that will re-define how we are perceived. Now behavior is not entrenched in religion or tradition; these are sets of value-driven disposition that places premium on women. If there are no girls or women willing to go nude in musical videos, the scriptwriters will change their narratives. The power to change the perception about women lies with women (and the men who truly love them) We have quite a lot to do, and the media is a strategic option that can create a ripple of change. Where are the real women?Remember, if you chase the stars, you will catch the clouds. Perfection is nothing; Be Genuine!Dayo

Oladele-Ilori, an entrepreneur, management consultant, a writer, an author, a wife and a mother. She is the convener of WELEAD –www.weleadnetwork.org