TheCable

A beautiful day indeed! And another beautiful experience. It is a complete depature from everything I had done from the beginning of the year. It was a location I had often seen but never really connected my desires with. It was the Remand Home, Oregun road, Lagos. The correctional home for boys, mostly teenagers who were juvenile delinquents; what you can safely describe as budding criminals.

I use the word “Budding” carefully because no matter how much or how bad their activities are classified, they are young and within the ambit of been influenced positively. It was a zero point where they can start afresh. It was hope laced with skepticism and uncertainty as the boys filed into the venue. The ages seem to range from about 11 to 17. I was told that by age 17, these boys were no longer eligible to stay in the home. They are released back into the society that first purged them out. The weather had whispered showers with the dark clouds splattered across the sky, blurring the sun from its early bright escapades. So when I took the microphone to begin my duty for the day, courtesy the Ladies Christian League, Anglican church of Ascension, Lagos; the rain welcomed me to the stage with great zest.

I look at over a hundred boys from different home, brought in under different circumstances. Some looked out of place, with supple skin, bright eyes and innocent dispositions, while others looked the crime, with burning eyeballs, unkept looks and darker lips evidence of their choices. Some spoke excellently English, while some sang with voices fit for the airwaves. Others danced with award-winning steps while a bunch walked with athletic vigour of future track and pitch stars. It was a pool of talent waiting to be rescued. One look, and you will begin to ask the same question, what are these boys doing here?The word Hero to the boys meant different things but we all agreed that a hero was someone who lived not only for self but a life that influences and saves others. Why would I want to see delinquent boys as heroes? I told them that everybody had a zero point in their life. I explained that zero point was a starting point, as figures started from zero and not from one as so often wrongly taught. I shared the zero point of the life of Jesus when he told God he wished the cup will pass over him.

I told the story of a young first class graduate of Mechanical Engineering who was languishing in the psychiatry because of his abuse of drugs, using this to buttress that some also move from been a hero to a zero. The boys learnt the 5C’s “characteristics” of a Hero, characteristics that make a good man.Character: Character made the name they bear, what did they want to be called or referred to as a person? It is what makes a man: personality, nature, disposition and temperament. Conduct: Behaviour of a person as situations demand. We used the life of Joseph as a reference who despite his zero point in the prison lived above his circumstances and became the most valuable prisoner. It was impressed upon them that they have the opportunity to change and become exemplary while in the home.Conversation: The boys realize that their conversation must be edifying and their confession must be positive. They also learnt to watch not only what they say but who they talk to.Creed: Thye learnt the importance of faith and the need for them to submit to God Almighty.

Their knowledge of Christ was expanded in relation to Christmas, the birth of Christ.Contribution: The boys also learnt that every hero is a saviour, hence their life has to influence the life of others around them positively. They were taught that someday their story will be an inspiration to others.At the end, an altar call was made. The boys stood up in large numbers and gave their life to Christ. This was particularly important because there is a need not just for physical cleansing, but a spiritual uprooting of foundational problems in their life. They also needed to lean on a strong and sustainable value system and teachings.How much we trivialize little but important things in our life. When I asked those who had given their life to Christ to come for a hug, it was a moment of truth. Everything melted as they rushed at me right under the rain for a hug. Some held me so tightly that I knew it had been a long time since they had any affectionate touch. I held back my tears, as I received every hug with a grateful heart.It has been a week since Remand Home, and I haven’t recovered from the experience.

I write today to reaffirm my position and commitment to the Male Gender: the Boy-Child. These boys are going to be fathers tomorrow, and they are going to be husbands to those girls we continue to train and tutor under the “girl-child” advocacy, what exactly are we doing, shaving one part of our head, while leaving the other part in an untidy cluster? When we started this campaign in January “the dough, the oven and the bread”, I never imagined that the lord will lead our feet to Remand home. I call on you today to join the crusade of raising boys to become men of substance. Curbing domestic violence starts with raising boys who will know that it is a taboo, a sin, a grievous offence to raise their hands against a girl or another boy. And like somebody said, this children were named on the 8th day by some parents, where are these parents? The short burst of energy and one-off relationship which we may choose to have as a way of given back to the society will never be sufficient, especially for the remand home. The boys need commitment and continuous engagement. The boys need mentors. My one day admonition of Zero-to-Hero is a foundation that requires many building blocks to have a beautiful edifice. A long term engagement with them will help fashion a generation of transformed boys who will be ready to change others. Are you ready to join the train? If you feel a strong urge to work with boys, please reach out through [email protected]  and together we can make a difference! Remember, perfection is nothing, be genuine.

Oladele-Ilori is a management consultant, an entrepreneur, an author, a wife and mother. She is also the convener of WELEAD –www.weleadnetwork.org.  Email: [email protected]