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If I were Tinubu…

If I were Tinubu…
October 07
14:32 2023

I stared at the matronly head of the human resources department at the then very prestigious Nal Bank on the Marina. “Edgar you have to go,” she said looking at me with pity.

How could I go, I wondered. This was funny. It was December, a few days to Christmas, and as tradition, bags of rice were being shared. I got the mail and sent my cousin Nelson who was working with me to get my share.

He went and was given two bags and we drove off. The next Monday, there was hullabaloo all over the place; someone had stolen a bag of rice and it was now an integrity issue.

In those days, in banking, your integrity quotient was all you had after the qualifications and you got the job. Integrity was what kept you on the job.

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The system needed blood and the culprit had to be fished out. “If you could steal a bag of rice, then you could empty the vault” was the mantra.

I joined the mob. We had to get the thief and railroad him out of the system. I sent out a mail to all staff stressing my position very clearly.

Then Nelson walked in looking very dour. “Wetin happen?” I asked him and he said: “Edgar Jay na we carry the rice o“. I said: “How can, what are you talking about?” He said they allotted two bags of rice to us and he thought it was my entitlement and carried it in the boot of the car.

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And I, Oga, just came down from the 15th floor and entered the car and we zoomed off. When we got home, I saw the two bags and quickly gave him one and I took one and went up to do whatever it was that I used to do on Fridays that time.

So to his surprise, upon getting to work he was informed that the extra bag was the stolen bag. He argued that he was given the rice for which he signed and as such it could not have been stolen. He was reprimanded and given a query.

I said: “Bro, you will have to resign o. No worry, I go take care of you“. Go resign. He said: “I don already resign I been say make I come tell you“. I hugged him and said to myself, this was a man.

Remember Nelson was head of the family. He had lost his mother and father very painfully and was fending for the whole family with this job, but still, he resigned and I was proud of him.

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A few hours later, I was summoned to HR and told that I had to go. I was a manager, one of the biggest salespeople. In fact, I had just brought in N50 million from Habib Bank to rapturous applause and was the darling of the whole system.

Following that I chased Udeme Ufot of SO&U to the point that he mentioned to our then-MD Ben Akabueze to ask me to let him breathe. Then I also wrestled Tunde Okoya to a standstill whose mother got our ED Remi Lasaki involved so that I could let them breathe. They still gave me the account making me a superstar In Nal.

But this didn’t stop HR from asking me to resign. I went to my line MD Funlola Jeje and she said these words that I will never forget in my life: “Edgar, in life these things happen but we must all stand as men and take the hit. You have to take the hit for your cousin’s tardiness. He should have known that you were entitled to only one bag of rice and since you were in the car that drove the rice out of the premises, then you are culpable”.

That talk didn’t make sense to me. How was Nelson, a young and inexperienced personal assistant to me, supposed to know company policy on rice? The mumu that gave him the rice and also made him sign for it was still in admin eating Amala o and the fact that it was Nelson that even came out to say – the rice was with me voluntarily didn’t count for nothing?

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I decided to fight it. I went to Lasky and placed my case. He was angry and called Funlola and spoke very strongly against what was happening and she stood her ground and said another thing that I will tell Tinubu today. “Sir, in GTB where I was trained, integrity is very high. Once there is a glitch no matter how tiny you have to go“. Lasky said well this one there is no glitch as he didn’t physically take the rice, his brother volunteered information and more importantly, he is our star, is something wrong with you?

As your line ED, I say we leave him. So they left me and HR sent me a warning letter with a line that made me resign.

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Mr Tinubu listen — “Mr Edgar, you were involved in the controversy surrounding a missing bag of rice. You have brought shame to your family, institution and profession. Following a series of interventions from well-meaning people across the spectrum of the system we have decided to issue you a warning…

My people, immediately after I saw that letter, I walked up to Funlola and tendered my resignation letter. She was aghast, you can’t go she said. I said I am sorry, with this kind of letter in my file, I cannot breathe.

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At that time I didn’t have any senatorial ambitions, but felt that my honour had been tackled and as such I couldn’t stay and be less of a human amongst my colleagues.

So I walked out of the Nal Bank building and went to Segun Oluyori down the road and got a job at Magnum Trust Bank.

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So Mr Tinubu that is how men react to things like this. It was always going to be a very difficult and tough one. Your refusal to come clean about who you really are was always going to be a tough one.

The journey had been long, tedious and messy. From Iragbiji to GCI, to Deloitte, to Chicago State University to the University of Chicago, it was always going to be very tough and exciting.

But if you didn’t jump into it headlong then you would not be Tinubu. You are a very tenacious fighter. A new-age Machiavellian with a sinister skill in building a network of allies drawing people from different outlooks and selling a shared vision to them which in turn will make them carry the flag to the end of the world.

You knew it would not be easy but you also knew you could do it. All it takes is guts. From the moment you announced your presidential run with the war cry –Emilokan–, all rules must be bent, broken or shattered on the way to the ultimate goal.

Nigeria nay Africa has never seen that kind of presidential run. A run where the majority of contestants stand down on the rostrum during the primaries? A run that threw up bishops who have never seen the four walls of a seminary? A run that has seen judges waddle like drunks in a brothel, a run that has seen magical figures in the INEC portal, a run that has been so divisive and a run that has made very brilliant men including Nobel Laureates go numb in the brain?

My Lord, if you ask me, I think Atiku has dealt you a mortal blow with his run in Chicago. He has not killed you but he has severely destroyed whatever claim to moral legitimacy you may want to have held on to.

Since you have weakened all of our democratic institutions, you may continue in your presidency but you will lack the moral conviction to earn respect amongst the people and in the international community and you will run a lame administration and have browned your legacy.

You will rough it as usual and survive it and your men will bring about the usual brilliant arguments to support you and make you feel good but the fact of the matter is as exactly as one of my friends who is your staunch supporter said to me; “Edgar, would I make Tinubu a role model for my son? No”.

If you were a soldier and took government by force then all of these will not matter. Democracy is fueled by certain ingredients — honour, justice, fair play and equity. Granted that these themes are ambiguous and as such carry different interpretations by stakeholders, there are however certain minimum standards that you have broken with this your political career

So if I were in your shoes, what would I do? I’ll do the Nixon. I’ll make a broadcast and apologise to all Nigerians and offer to resign or even resign.

It is not about 8 million people voting for you, it’s about your legacy, the damage this has done to your legacy, our youths who need courageous and clean leadership and very importantly the system that has been coloured by this run.

You need to do this and be a man of history. I know as I write that I am just wasting my time because you could not have set on a 30-year journey of this nature only to be swayed by moral arguments to do the right thing.

I have just said, if I were in your shoes, but guess what, I am not. Let’s rough it.

History will do its job at the end of the day. No problem.

Thanks.



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